Monthly Archives: December 2010

30 (271210)

#30 (271210)  ‘Seeds of Compassion’ series

This life ‘existence,’ is all a mental construct, a common one we try to share (by using dictionary wor(l)ds:  language).  It’s what you could call our ‘collective dream.’  But, the goal is to awaken from it, to behold the grandeur that is beyond — while still having a body.

This is the oldest subject in the world, what is beyond, what is beyond ‘death,’ what is beyond this life?  We all grope to understand life, and death…  I have my own ideas about such…

We’re, as ego consciousness, a ‘drop of water, salt water in this case,’ thrown out of the ocean onto alien land, (when born).  When we ‘shed the body,’ we remerge with the ‘Ocean.’ losing our identity, but now the total (Tao,  or Gestault — a unified whole)!  In away, we become ‘God,’ again, having adding something to the Total (our ‘earthly’ experiences).  

I think there’s a ‘period of time,’ after shedding the body, when it’s possible to manifest the appearance of ‘life’ (a body) for whatever purpose.  This has been proven to me two times, having had experiences with apparitions (poltergeists, ghosts), whatever name you want to give the).  And once you’ve had experiences like these, you don’t have to believe, you know!

The first one was years ago while living in a very remote part of the U.S., the Big Bend of the State of Texas.  I was there writing a book about the family that had settled the area, and were still there running a General Store nee RV Park.  I was living in a adobe building they called the ‘Wet Shack.’  It had one door and one window, but it was comfortable enough for me.  My schedule had me writing the book (about the history of the family) every morning.

One morning, at my desk writing, for some reason I turned to look to my right.  There, not two meters away was a short man wearing in a black suit.  It was so real, so startling, my heart leap and I jerked my head back to my computer screen.  I don’t think I’ve ever felt fear like that before or afterwards, that’s how real it was!  But, impossible for anyone (alive) to get into my room, as the door was locked (I hadn’t yet gone to breakfast).  Of course, when I had the courage to look again, nothing was there (Ghosts, in spite of their reputation,  don’t like to scare you!).

Initially, I thought this apparition was my father, but later it became clearer as to who this was.  This was one of the Stillwell men, one of the great grandfathers long since past, come to check me out as I was writing the family’s history.

I lived in Big Bend for almost two years, and had more metaphysical-trancendental experiences there, than in any other time/place of my life.  I learned that there’s much going on beneath the ‘veneer’ of modern life, but you have to travel to some remote place if you want to experience such.   There’s much going on ‘out there!’ 

(in China)…

We had cycled up to Kanas Lake (National Park) from Urumqi City (Fall of 2006).  We stayed in a place for tourists, an ethic (?) man operated.  It was a bunch of old log cabins, beds actually crammed together.  I pitched my tent out of the ground, as I ike ‘clean’ and quiet (most Chinese men snore).  The last night, however, before departing to cycle back the 1K KM to Urumqi, I moved into the room with my Chinese son, Xutan (‘Richa’) and Gong Fu Yu (one in our group).  They were in one bed, I was in another at right angles (facing the door).

That night dozing off I happened to notice a ‘man,’ walking past me toward the door.  I immediately, thought if was Mr. Gong going to the outdoor privy.  But, when the bodily form didn’t bother opening the door, but just ‘dissolved through it,’ I knew what it was… A ghost.

It was only later, I figured out who the apparition was, none but my old and dear departed friend, James B. Feeney (whose bicycle helmet I wear to take him along).

 Xutan and I had cranked up a mountain to get a good view of the Lake,   But, they wouldn’t allow us to ride all the way to the top, the road too narrow.  So, we walked the last 2 kilometers, leaving our bicycles, and my helmet (James B.),  at a parking lot.  But, on the way down, in a hurry, I left  James B. behind.   When back at the ‘ranch,’ and realizing my great stupidity, I sent Xutan (on the back of a motor bike) back up to retrieve it.   I was so happy when they returned with it.

Thus, I knew ‘James B.’ had come to thank Xutan — that ‘he’ was the apparition I had seen that night (‘dissloving through the door’).  Why didn’t ‘he’ stop and say ‘hello’ to me?  He knew it would scare the shit out of me!  ‘They,’ (ghosts) don’t like to scare people!

Trust me, there’s no doubt in your mind when things like this happen — there’s little other explanation!

Was I ‘dreaming’…?  All is metaphor!  

Have better ‘fantasies!’

‘Death’ is an orgasm!

So, the world isn’t what we see or hear, it’s actually what we don’t ‘sea’ and don’t ‘here!’


29 (261210)

#29 (261210)  ‘Seeds of Compassion’ series

We interfere with the natural order of things (the Tao), then trying to ‘fix the mess’ we’ve created (by trying to control Nature even more), it only backfires!  And everything gets worse!


To attempt to save ‘the sinking ship’ we ‘trot out’ the experts who get rich writing about the problem, but few have the actual courage to speak the truth!

And thus we spiral downward, not comprehending what we have unleashed:  more earthquakes (nee Tsunamis), floods, fires, volcano eruptions, and increased violence (as well as from animals as they try to survive).

In fact, we are like freaked-out buffalo stampeding for the cliff (abyss).  Lemmings another example of our self-destructive behavior!

We blame everything and everybody for our own destruction, of course, projecting evil everywhere, but where it belongs, on us!

EACH AND EVERYONE OF US ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CURRENT PAIN WE’VE CREATED.  But, since we’re suffering, we just can’t accept the responsibility, it has to be the ugly villiians ‘over there!’

We ‘kill the messenger,’ (currently Julian Assange) because he, like Jesus, brought the truth.  Hey, Julian/Jesus we don’t want to know that we don’t know!  We’d rather live the fantasy (it was oh so nice!)!  How dare you interrupt our reverie!  For that we will kill you!

Can’t you see what modern life (us) has produced…?  A self-destructive ‘formula,’ for our own demise!

We’re so clever (arrogant) we’re stupid!  We’re in the process of destroying ourselves, and can’t seem to stop it.  Now, how intelligent is that…?

Wake up, people, before it’s too late (almost too now)!


28 (251210)

#28 (251210)  ‘Seeds of Compassion’ series

‘Dog,’ or ‘God’ spelled backwards is everything else!

‘God,’ or ‘Dog,’ is ‘dead’ in only that we think it so…

‘God’ or ‘Dog’ is very much ‘alive’ to me in everything, everywhere!

‘God’ or ‘Dog’ is everything else (but my ego), and 

‘That’ is deminishing every second!

We’re coming!

We’re coming!

We’re coming together!

We’re coming together!

Everybody, and everything, everywhere!

We’re coming together!

Start the drums, sound the call!

On Christmas Day, 25 December 2010, 

Hutch nee Ahya

from Lijiang, China

Where all the men are strong and the women beautiful!


27 (241210)

#27 (241210)  ‘Seeds of Compassion’ series

Someone asked me how to love oneself…?  This is what I wrote to them:


First, you have to forgive yourself for being human.  All of us humans are fallible (we make mistakes).  So, what to do?   Forgive yourself for being human.

Vow, to get better:  ‘I will think of others!’  (chant this).  The trick in life is to forgive, forget (the  bad) and move on!  The ultimate is to lead your life for others, putting them first (then you forget about yourself).

Keep going!  Keep trying!  Never give up!  Never!

Happy Holidays!  Let’s have some fun!




26 (231210)

#26 (231210)  ‘Seed of Compassion’ series

Thwart the ego!

‘We have met the enemy and s/he is us!’ 

It is each one of us that is the problem, always projecting evil or wrong doing onto others!

We need to become more aware of our actions!

We need to gain more consciousness about ourselves!

We need to stop lusting after money, wasting our lives on the material, when ultimately it goes… ‘Ashes to ashes.  Dust to dust!’  (Personally, I hope to have a ‘Sky Burial,’ giving back what I’ve taken.)

It’s the spiritual that’s important to pursue, not being slaves to material items like TV, mobiles, computers, games (real or virtual), other trivial pursuits.  You’re ‘missing the boat,’ as they say, you’re going down the wrong road!

‘Two roads diverged (split) in the woods.  I took the one less traveled!  It’s made all the difference! ‘ Henry David Thoreau

‘Imagination is more than knowledge!’  Albert Einstein 

‘Thwart the ego!

Stop thinking!


25 (221210)

#25 (221210), an ‘8’ day!  ‘LIfe 8.0’

‘Taoism Made Simple’

This day on the Western Calendar, Winter Solstice (21/22) , or shortest amount of daylight of the 24-hour cycle, just opposite of the Summer Solstice, when sunlight lingers longest (depending upon where you are physically).  This has to do with how the earth, the sphere we inhabit, is tilted from 90 degrees.  Thus, the seasons, when the angle of sunlight is either more direct (Summer), or the opposite when sunlight hits the earth at a much greater angle (skipping on the edge).  This the  season of Winter.  And maybe something to do with time, as time is space.

These’ seasons,’ just opposite in the Southern Hemisphere, when/where just the reverse is true (in terms of ‘angle of the dangle, or the heat of the meet!’

We live a ‘dual’ (0s or 1s) existence, thus enantiodromia, creating cycles..

Yin/Yang nee or Taoism, but ultimately an understanding of

The Void (beyond thought)!

Shakespeare wrote, ‘Nothing is either ‘good nor bad,’  but that thinking it makes it so!

Stop thinking!


P.S.  What is a ‘solstice,’ but a ‘turning point,’ the ‘extreme of a cycle,’ that is now turning in the opposite ‘direction.’

23 (161210)

#23 (161210)  ‘Seeds of Compassion’ series

I am Woan!

‘We’ were born a #5 (female), but now 2s, 3s, and 9s seem to come into ‘play.’

What numbers/digits are significant to you?  This is important.

We create our worlds with our thoughts, which are manifested as words and numbers!

Your ‘world’ is ‘different’ from mine, but that’s only as we think such.  This doesn’t have to be:  



22 (151210)

#22 (151210)  ‘Seeds of Compassion’ series

The more there is of YOU, the less there is of Me!  And this is Go(o)d!  Thinking more of others, and less of ourselves.  This is Go(o)d!

‘Stomping’ on your ego, is the same as gaining consciousness!

We start out with bodily life one way, and end up in the entirely opposite Way — without the body, but the spirit!

What happens in the middle, is extremely important for the growth of consciousness, the SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN CONCEPT (the world, existence, life, love, the pursuit of it, etc.)!  

We are ‘concept(ion)s!’  We are ‘consciousness!’

I am your BODY ‘hear!’  To ‘die’ of that Ego (body), is to regain the Spirit.   And this IS POSSIBLE IN THIS LIFETIME (before shedding the body)!

Chant (repeat):

There is no me!

There is no I!

There is only US!

We’re coming together!

We’re coming together!

Everything and everybody,


We’re coming together!


P.S. Time is Space, and vice versa versa vice!

21 (141210)

#21 (141210)  ‘Seeds of Compassion’ series

The Story of Jesus  (Christmas, the beginning of the story…)

If you were raised in the Christian/Jewish tradition, you know it, or you think you do.

Jesus was important as s/he was the first Prophet (or significant figure) to introduce the concept of love.  Before that only mythologized as in Greece, poetry elsewhere, but Jesus Christ made it the responsibility of humans!  ‘Love Thy Neighbor As Thyself!’

But, this is also a story of redemption, getting a ‘second chance.’  That the only way to ‘heaven’ (bliss nee peace of mind) is through hell (suffering), and the only way to get ‘there’ is to die of the ego body, to be reborn of the Spirit (life everlasting).  All of this symbolized in the Christian Bible:  Matthew Chapter 27. Mark Chapter 15. Luke Chapter 23. John Chapter 19.

‘S/he’ didn’t die for your sins, however, but to demonstrate what’s possible (for humanity)!  That you also can ‘die on the cross’ (suffer metaphorically), to gain the Spirit (everlasting life).  It’s the sacrifice of the ego.  

There’s good news (‘gospel’) and then there’s the reality… ‘Oh, we can’t just go to church on Sundays, put money in the collection plate and get to heaven?’  Sorry,  no, I don’t think so, you gotta do the work!  But, IT IS possible to achieve in this life time (the good news)!

These were new thoughts in terms of wo/man’s development, and it took a real ‘author,’ to bring the story to life.  It’s not important that Jesus was a real wo/man or not, but that the story still functions (Dr. R.W. Funk, and David J. Carter).  Think about a story so powerful that it’s still functioning (people responding/relating to it) 2100 years later!

Most of the unevolved, take the story as literal (etched in stone).  It’s not meant to be.  It’s meant to be taken metaphorically, symbolically!  It’s a teaching story.  That you can gain ‘heaven’ (bliss) in this life time, but only by sacrificing (‘on the cross’) your ego (I).  

‘We’ suggests Duality (no ‘I,’ no we) .  Without ‘I’  it becomes Singularity (nothingness, the void).  This is what you want to work towards (as we’re all going ‘there’ anyway)…

Start this day in remembrance of Jesus (Christmas season), who sacrificed him/herself that you might have ‘everlasting life’  This is his/her gift, the gift of redemption!

Merry Christmas (the Mass that celebrates the ‘birth of the idea!’).